tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
