planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
