And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
