If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
What a dumb baby whore.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
