I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
