I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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