its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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