"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Randomize
