My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
