okay pat passed out under dana's car
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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