wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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