she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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