I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
