fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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