You work out of a Hotel?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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