I'm pants shitting drunk right now
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
