Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
