arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
