now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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