sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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