he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
