Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
