Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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