why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
