Can Purell be used as lube?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
