I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
