i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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