Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
