Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
