Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Randomize
