The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
