My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
This house was built for laser tag.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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