You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
my phone needs a breathalizer
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
