Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
