Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
