I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Just cropdusted the office
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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