if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
