This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
