We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
