I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
if i died would you start the facebook group?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
