He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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