Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
