Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
