Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
