Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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