It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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