True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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