it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I am midnight drunk by noon
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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