Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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