I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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