It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
